|Posted by cntrares on October 5, 2013 at 3:40 PM|
Many of you saw, if you were following my posts while I was in Colorado, that I filmed a level 4 online audition and submitted it while I was there. Well, I received the result last week. I’ve been debating about whether or not to share it as level assessments are quite a personal experience!
Often, we only share the good news, which isn’t necessarily a healthy habit. No one is perfect, and everyone encounters rough patches in their journeys. It’s these rough patches that help us to grow! For me, this past year has been full of rough patches or, as I try to see them, wonderful opportunities for self-improvement. The biggest obstacle for Shadow and I in our assessments last year was her lack of correct flexion on the circle, which made flying lead changes near impossible. Since then, she and I have made huge changes.
When I filmed the audition last month, I was elated because Shadow did all of the compulsories, showed some exuberance, and she was in a great calm, connected state at the end of it. I thought maybe we’d finally get our pass! Well, despite these positives, we didn’t get a level 4 online pass.When I read the email, I understood why I didn’t pass, but I couldn’t help feeling disappointed. Doubts started to creep into my mind… What am I still doing wrong? Maybe that was Shadow’s best effort? Perhaps Shadow isn’t able to do a level 4 quality flying lead change?
After a day or two, I took a deep breath and put things into perspective. I have to believe Shadow can do it or she won’t! In reality, she has made a ton of progress! In fact, in the audition results her flexion was marked as level 4 quality. This is something I’m incredibly proud of her and I for accomplishing!
What do we still need to improve? I need to have her draw-in on the circle for the flying lead changes with me taking fewer steps. That’s another big challenge for her, but yesterday we got one with me taking just a few steps. Even more important was the huge release she had afterwards. She blew out and her whole body just softened. It’s a bit hard for me to describe in words, but it was a magical moment!
So, I won’t be able to teach in the field for at least another month or two while I re-film and wait for results, but I’m not quitting and I know this struggle will only make the success even sweeter one day soon. Plus, I think this interesting journey will also make me a better instructor.
As a friend recently told me, you can only fail if you quit.So what are you struggling with in your journey? Stop, take a breath, and find a positive to focus on. Remember your still in the game, so you aren’t going to fail. You will overcome and succeed! I hope being open about my own struggles helps you to know that you aren’t alone